Couple Of Funnies

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary 's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses €500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table.

Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up.

Michael O'Conner looks around and asks,

'Oh, me boys, someone got to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?'

They draw straws.

Paul Gallagher picks the short one.

They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse. ‘

“I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll ever meet. Discretion is me middle name.
Leave it to me.”

Gallagher goes over to Murphy's house and knocks on the door.

Mrs. Murphy answers, and asks what he wants.

Gallagher declares,’ your husband just lost €500, and is afraid to come home.'

'Tell him to drop dead!’ says Murphy's wife.

'I'll go tell him.' says Gallagher.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A professor at Texas A&M University was giving a lecture on the supernatural.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks,
"How many people here believe in ghosts??"

About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start.

Out of those who believe, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?"

About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously.

Has anyone here ever talked to or touched a ghost?"

About 3 students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further....Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"

Way in the back, Abdul raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses, and says,

"Son, in all the years I've been giving this lecture, no-one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost.

You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The big student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.

When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks,

"So Abdul, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost!!”


Abdul replied, "Ah sorry.

From way back there, I thought you said ‘Goats’!!”

Love the Irish one.

very good

very good rocky