Quickies

I went to the doctor's the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female, drop-dead gorgeous!

I was embarrassed but she said,

"Don't worry, I'm a professional - I've seen it all before.

Just tell me what's wrong and I'll help you in any way I can."



I said, "I think my cock tastes funny..."


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Paddy goes for a job in a chemical factory, the manager asks 'have you worked with chemicals before?'

Paddy replies 'Yes'

The manager asks, 'so can you tell me what Nitrate is?'

Paddy replies

'Yeah time and a half!!!'

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I played a game of hide and seek with the wife last night.

She hid, and I fooked off to the pub for a few a Beers.


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Allegedly, Steven Gerrard's about to be exposed as a love-cheat for getting a 16yr old girl pregnant - or a grandmother, as she's known in Liverpool.

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I was arrested earlier for beating my wife with a bottle of toilet cleaner.

I was done for Domestos abuse.

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How do you cancel an appointment at a sperm bank?

Say you can't come.

Love he jokes Rocky.

love the nitrate one