Some Quickies

Texas Sheriff’s Job Interview


A young Texan grew up wanting to be a law man.

He grew up big, 6’ 2’’, strong as a longhorn and fast as a mustang.

He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces.

When he finally came of age he applied to where he had only dreamed of working: the West Texas Sheriff’s Department.

After a big mess of tests and interviews the Chief Deputy finally called him into his office for the young man’s last interview.

The Chief Deputy says:

"You’re a big strong kid and you can really shoot.

So far your qualifications all look good.

But we have what you call an ‘attitude suitability test’ that you must take before you can be accepted.

We just don’t let anyone carry our badge son."

Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief says:

"Take this pistol and go out and shoot:

six illegal aliens,
six lawyers,
six meth dealers,
six Muslim extremists,
and a rabbit."




"Why the rabbit?"

"Great attitude," says the Chief Deputy.

"When can you start?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3 mice in a pub having a heavy session discussing who's the hardest.

The first mouse says:
"I'm the hardest I go up to mousetraps rip the cheese out and as the bar comes down I bench press it 30 times and throw it across the room!"

The second mouse says:
"You poof I get rat poison crush it into a powder and snort it!"

The third mouse finishes his drink gets up and walks to the door.

"Where are you going?" ask the other two mice.



"Home" he replies "To fook the cat"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two priests are off to the showers late one night.

They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.

Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress.

He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, and heads back to the showers.

He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way.

Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue.

The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks.

The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his manhood. Startled, he drops a bar of soap.

'Oh look' says the first nun, 'it's a soap dispenser'.

To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood.

Sure enough, he drops the second bar of soap.

Now the third nun decides to have a go.

She pulls once, then twice and three times but nothing happens.

So she gives several more tugs, then yells.





'Holy Mary, Mother of God, hand lotion too!'

excellent stuff as usual rocky