I just rang the council to complain about the size of my wheelie bin.

You couldnt swing a cat in it.

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I'd love to do an Iron Man Triathalon.

I think I'd be alright at the running, just not sure about the flying and shooting lasers.

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"I was working late in the Carphone warehouse last night when my daughter text me."

"Dadthespacebuttononmyphoneisfaultypleasecomehomea ndgivemeanalternative."


"As I sped home I couldn't help but think.......What the hell does 'ternative' mean??"