Couple More

Started my new job in a record shop in Liverpool yesterday.

A young local lad came in and asked me ''do you have anything by The Doors?''

I replied ''Yes, two security guards, so don’t even think about it you thieving Scouse git!''
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Mick said to Paddy

"Close your curtains the next time you're shaggin your wife!".

"Why?" asks Paddy.

"Because yesterday you were shaggin her and the whole street was out watching and laughing at you."

"Well," says Paddy "the joke's on them - I wasn't even home yesterday!!!!"