Post Your Irish Recession Jokes

love it noely.

3 doctors are discusingg their countries medical achievements.
An Isreali doctor says “We took a kidney out of one man, put it into another man and he was out looking for work in just 6 months!”

The English doctor responds. “We removed a lung from one man, placed it into another and he was looking for work in just 3 months!”

The Irish doctor stands up - “We took an arsehole out of Offaly, put it into the Dail and now the whole country is out looking for work.

An Post created a stamp with a picture of the Taoiseach, Brian Cowen.




The controversial stamp


However, the stamp was not sticking to envelopes.

This enraged the Taoiseach who demanded a full investigation.

After a month of testing and spending of 1.1million euros, a special commission presented the following findings:

1. The stamp is in perfect order.

2. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive.

3. People are spitting on the wrong side of the stamp!!!

The Economy is So Bad That:

* I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
* A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
* CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
* The Mafia is laying off judges.
* If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
* Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
* McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
* Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
* Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
* Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

No Nativity Scene in Ireland this year!

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in Ireland’s Capitol this Christmas season.
This isn't for any religious reason.
They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the Nation's Parliament
A search for a Virgin continues.
There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.

Love it noel, particularly the last banana republic one

@ "cowens kaks"

awww brilliant Noel, there all excellent

At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word “service.”
“It’s the act of doing things for other people.”
Then I heard these terms which reference the word SERVICE :

Government Service
Revenue Service
Postal Service
Telephone Service
Civil Service
City & County Public Service
Customer Service
Service Stations

Then I became confused about the word “service “ This is not what I thought“service” meant.
So today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to “service “ a few of his cows. BAM! It all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those “service” agencies are doing to us

.

I hope you now are as enlightened as I am.

Brian Cowen goes on a state visit to Israel.

While he is on a tour of Jerusalem he suffers a heart attack and passes away.
The undertaker tells the Irish diplomats accompanying him, 'You can have him shipped home for €5,000,000, or you can bury him here in the Holy Land for just €1,000.'
The Irish diplomats go into a corner and discuss this for a minute.
They come back to the undertaker and tell him they want Brian shipped home.
The undertaker is puzzled and asks, 'Why would you spend €5,000,000 to ship him home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only €1,000?
With the money you save, you could help pay back some of the deficit, improve your hospitals or help the elderly.'
The Irish diplomats replied, 'Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead.
We just can't take the risk.

Where do they get them from?

Excellent Ally

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rumour has it this is the trocaire box been given out this lent

Love it Anto, very good

I have some bottle tops to put into it when it arrives

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I think we should all print this off and stick on the front door for when the canvassing starts