Chap rings 999, Ambulance please tells receptionist my son has just swallowed a condom.
5 minutes later rings back saying it is all right as I have found another one
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I joined the Tourette’s society today.
It only took a minute to swear me in.
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Just been to the barbers and asked for a Liverpool FC... a mess at the back, nothing on the sides and fook all up front.... he charged me £130 million
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Why does Harry Redknapp use a staple gun to lay his carpet..?
He likes to avoid the tacks..!!




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