It was my parents 40th wedding anniversary last week and they were telling me that they're starting to feel really old.
I told them that it's never too late in life to do things that you've always wanted to do.
So they've put me up for adoption.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The race-car driver picked up a girl after a race, went home with her and took her to bed.
He fell asleep only to be awakened suddenly when she smacked him in the face.
"What's the matter!
Didn't I satisfy you when we screwed?" he asked.
"It was after you fell asleep that got you into trouble," said the angry woman.
"In your sleep, you felt my **** and mumbled,
'What perfect headlights.'
Then you felt my thighs and murmured,
'What a smooth finish.'"
"What's wrong with that?" asked the driver.
"Nothing, but then you felt my muff and yelled,
'Who the hell left the garage door open?!'"




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