Overheard in Dublin....

The following are extracts from the website of the same name,also there are some books of the same,
some of you guys have seen these before,for those that haven`t, I`d really recommend the books,always good for a quick giggle..

Whole Finger ..... ?

Overheard two blokes I work with in Swords one day in locker room:

1st bloke: "did ya hear about Danny's accident at the weekend ?"
bloke 2: "No wha happened ?"
1st bloke: "Got his hand caught in one of the pressing machine rotors."
bloke 2: "Jaaayyssisss ... was he badly hurted ?"
1st bloke: "got one of fingers really bad and ripped it off !"
bloke 2 "Jaaayyssisss ... the whole finger ?"
1st bloke: Deadly serious "No ... the one beside it."

Overheard by Alan, Work place in Swords


Ireland of the Welcomes!

In Roddy Boland's in Rathmines one night I overheard a group of Italian guys (tourists) trying to chat up two Irish girls and not getting very far.

One of the Italian's started waxing lyrical about one of the girls and her "beautiful pale skin" and said: "In my country, you would be a Princess"

To which the Irish girl replied "And in my country, you'd work in a chipper, now f**k off".

Overheard by Kaz, Roddy Bolands


Irish Law is never Black and White

In one of the Dublin district courts during a hearing the injured party is being questioned by the defence barrister. The barrister is really trying to put pressure on the defendent and questions whether he can identify his client who alledgedly assaulted him. The injured party is sitting in the witness box and without flinching points across the room and says loudly...

"yer man there, the black fella."

The defence barrister looses the rag and begins ranting about being prejudicial to his clients skin colour and so forth. The barrister continues along this line of attack and says indignantly to the injured party who is still in the witness box....

"can you identify the man in this courtroom who you alledge assaulted you without referring to his skin colour?"

The injured party looks up at the judge and then at the barrister shrugs and says... "yeah."

The barrister asks him to do so. The injured party points again across the court room and says...


"yer man sitting over there between the two white blokes."

Overheard by Anon, Dublin District Court

Is there a doctor in the house?

In the Omniplex a while back, a particularly boring bit of the movie was on, when a cry came from the dark.

Shadow at the front (shouting): "Anyone! Is there a doctor here? Is there a doctor here?"

(Shock. Confusion.)

Voice from the back: "Here - I'm a doctor"

Voice from the front: "Sh*te film, isn't it?" ...and sat back down

Voice from the back: "Little bastard - if I find ya I'll rattle ya"

Overheard by YoYoBoy, Santry Cinema

very good i love the last one

very good

Well done Knot.Come on the Dubs

i like the cipper* one!

edit: Chipper*

excellent Knot, read these books myself and there hillarious

have never met a quicker or better wit than the Dubs Ally

nice one Knot .

Thought this one was good :cheesy grin:

Let him eat cake

As I walked up North circular road one day I noticed a gang of junior lags waiting outside the prison. At the same time a 'husky' boy of 10 or 11 was huffing and puffing past with two large bags of shopping. As is expected with junior lags one of them pipes up "Ya fat bastard ya" and they all laugh. Cool as you like the boy places his shopping down, looks at them and replies "I'm only a fat bastard cos yer ma giz me a slice of cake everytime I ride her", picks his shopping up and continues on his way.

What a hero.

Overheard by mugwumpjism, Phibsboro



---------- Post added at 09:11 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:04 PM ----------

Last one I promise

Beyond last orders

In a bar and last orders had gone but thought I'd chance my arm at getting another drink.

Asked the barman for a drink to which he replied,

"No no I finish, I finish!"

Then I heard a voice from behind me and a drunk man lifts his head off the bar and starts shoutng,

"Dont mind him....he's a lying f***er, he's not from finland he's spanish!"

Overheard by Anonymous, Bar in Howth

Brilliant Noel