TechKings - Comedy Central

Shoot Or Don't Shoot

Rocky — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 15:16:25 GMT

Can You Dance As Well As This

Rocky — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 15:14:33 GMT

DR. Smith

Gman496 — Sun, 05 Sep 2010 17:00:47 GMT

A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her breasts.

Dr. Smith advised her, 'Every day after your shower, rub your chest and say, 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies!'

She did this faithfully for several months !

To her utter amazement she grew terrific D-cup boobs !

One morning she was running late, got on the bus, and in a panic realized she had forgotten her morning ritual.

Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the little rhyme, she stood up in the middle aisle of the bus, closed her eyes and said, 'Scooby doobie, doobies, I want bigger boobies.'

A guy sitting nearby looked at her and asked, 'Oh! Are you a patient of Dr Smith's ?'

'Yes I am... How did you know ?'

He winked and replied, " Hickory dickory dock ....."

Beware Of Your Roommates

Gman496 — Sun, 05 Sep 2010 14:21:12 GMT

Bragging about your Kids

allybird58 — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 15:46:11 GMT

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party

After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room.

Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy.He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel.
He studied Economics
and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.'

The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the major ity of its assets He's so rich that he gave his best
friend a brand new jet for his birthday.'

The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire.. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his
birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.'

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: 'What are all the congratulations
for?'

One of the three said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ..What about your son?'

The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.'

The three friends said: 'What a shame... what a disappointment.'

The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him.
And he hasn't done too bad either.. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends.

Pay My Money - No Mortgage For Free

joekingman — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 22:54:37 GMT

if posted before sorry..

Mini Golf Fail

Gman496 — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 12:38:34 GMT

It�s this Viagra

allybird58 — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 21:15:14 GMT

A woman asks her husband if he�d like some breakfast. �Would you like bacon
and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast? Grapefruit and coffee to follow?� she
asks.
He declines. �It�s this Viagra,� he says. �It�s really taken the edge off my
appetite.�
At lunchtime, she again asks if he would like something �How about a bowl of
homemade soup, homemade muffins, or maybe a cheese sandwich?� she inquires.
He declines. �Nope, it�s this Viagra,� he says, �It�s really taken the edge
off my appetite.�
Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. She�ll go to the
store and buy him some food. Would he like maybe a steak and apple pie?
Maybe he�d like a pizza microwaved or a tasty stir-fry that would only take
a couple of minutes?
He declines. �It�s this Viagra,� he says. �It�s really taken the edge off my
appetite.�
�Well,� she says, �Would you mind letting me up? I�m starving.�

Woman Put's Cat In A Bin

Rocky — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 09:58:51 GMT

A Few Funnies

Rocky — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 08:40:01 GMT

I have an image of Jesus that pops up on my PC monitor if I leave it idle for 10 minutes.

It's my screen saviour.
____________________

My friend has finally finished writing a book about herbs...

It's about thyme too.
____________________

I was in my back yard trying to fly a kite......

I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth.

I tried this a few more times with no success.

All the while, Karen, the wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.

She opens the window and yelled to me,

�You need a piece of tail to get it up�

I turned with a confused look on my face and said,

�Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite.�

The Horrors of What Beer can do to Men

iluvendo — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 07:57:29 GMT

Watch the demo

The New Stud rooster!

anto1969 — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 07:10:41 GMT

~ ~ ~ THE NEW STUD ROOSTER ~ ~ ~

A Farmer went out one day and bought a brand
new stud rooster for his chicken coop.

The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,
'OK old fart, time for YOU to retire.'

The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you
cannot handle ALL of these chickens yourself.
Look what it has done to me... Can't you just
let me have the two old hens over there in the corner?'

The young rooster says,
'NO!, Beat It! You're all washed up, and I'M taking over.'

The old rooster says, 'I tell you what, young stud.
I will race you around the farmhouse..,
Whoever wins, gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.'

The young rooster laughs. 'You know you don't stand a chance, old man.
You're pathetic!.. so, just to be fair, I'll even give you a head start.'

So the old rooster takes off running.
About 15 seconds later, the young rooster takes off running after him.

They round the front porch of the farmhouse and
the young rooster has closed the considerable gap.
He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast!

The Farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch
When he sees the roosters running by.

The Old Rooster starts squawking, and runs as hard as he can.
The Farmer grabs his shotgun and then...
B O O M !
His 12-guage blows-up the young rooster into little bits.

The Farmer sadly shakes his head and says,

'Dammit!...
...that's the third gay rooster I bought this month... '

The Moral of this Story?...

Don't mess around with the OLD FOLKS -
Age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery
will ALWAYS overcome youth and arrogance!

Are we there yet

allybird58 — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 21:26:02 GMT

The little old lady seated herself right behind the bus driver. Every ten minutes or so she'd pop up, "Have we reached Oriskany Falls yet, sonny?"
"No, lady, not yet. I'll let you know," he replied, time after time.
The hours passed, the old woman kept asking for Oriskany Falls, and finally the little town came into view. Sighing with relief, the driver slammed on the breaks, pulled over and called out, "This is where you get out, lady."
"Is this Oriskany Falls?"
"Yes!" he bellowed. "Get out!"
"Oh, I'm going all the way to Albany, sonny," she explained sweetly. "It's just that my daughter told me that when we got this far, I should take my blood pressure pill."

Taylor Swift and the bear

allybird58 — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 17:04:46 GMT

:whistling:

Make-up and Hair style��..$500.00
New Dress for the
show��$700.00
Giant Stuffed
Bear��.$300.00

Not knowing how to hold the bear with a microphone in
your
hand��..Priceless!

Cassetteboy vs Dragons' Den

Gman496 — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 15:24:41 GMT