:)
=: WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS :=
These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was
still valued, before a great proportion of insults became 4-letter
words.
The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my
husband I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd
drink it."
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the
gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or
your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." --
Winston Churchill
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." -- Winston
Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
-- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
reading it." -- Moses Hadas
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I
know." -- Abraham Lincoln
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it." --Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar
Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend... if you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is
one." -- Winston Churchill, in response.
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." --
Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-- Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
-- Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating
"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." -- Jack
E. Leonard
"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." -- Robert Redford
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human
knowledge." -- Thomas Brackett Reed
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." --
Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." -- Forrest Tucker
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?" -- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae
West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." --
Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support
rather than illumination." -- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." -- Billy Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." --
Groucho Marx
=: WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS :=
These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was
still valued, before a great proportion of insults became 4-letter
words.
The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my
husband I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd
drink it."
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the
gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or
your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." --
Winston Churchill
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." -- Winston
Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
-- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
reading it." -- Moses Hadas
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I
know." -- Abraham Lincoln
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it." --Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar
Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend... if you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is
one." -- Winston Churchill, in response.
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." --
Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-- Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
-- Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating
"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." -- Jack
E. Leonard
"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." -- Robert Redford
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human
knowledge." -- Thomas Brackett Reed
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." --
Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." -- Forrest Tucker
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?" -- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae
West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." --
Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support
rather than illumination." -- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." -- Billy Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." --
Groucho Marx