therapy/counseling?

[lotteryherd]

anyone here tried therapy/counseling with their spouse? how did it go for you?

 

[pabloescaban]

it was going great until she turned up...the therapist agreed with me, soup is NOT a meal

 

[aldan]

dont know whether to like or report that last post.lol.relationship therapy will only work if both parties want it.this is rarely the case.by the way,depends on the soup.

 

[systemlord]

soup is NOT a meal

 

[formandvoid]

TBH if both parties are not able to sit down and talk to sort things out counseling will not help.

 

[lotteryherd]

TBH if both parties are not able to sit down and talk to sort things out counseling will not help.

oh my, is this from personal experience? Do you mean like just the two of you and without the counselor?
let's say im obsessing on this now and have searched online about this thing. i read this article and i quote:

A marriage counselor does not have a stake in the relationship and can therefore give couples tools and provide an unbiased space for communication to occur.

Is this an empty statement?

 

[formandvoid]

TBH a close family member has been going through a divorce the last 2 years and it is still ongoing. It started off amicable with a counselor to try and sort things out and has now turned into a war . I can't say if it will help you as it all depends on your partner and if they want to sort things out , but If they do and you are both in agreement maybe it will help. Good luck

 

[Pilf]

A marriage counselor does not have a stake in the relationship and can therefore give couples tools and provide an unbiased space for communication to occur.
Is this an empty statement?

This absolutely is not an empty statement. Relationship problems come in many forms. For many people one of the hardest things to do is to talk about their feelings or to listen to another's feelings about themself without getting hyper defensive/annoyed (Maybe I did do this but it was because you did that; OR, I know I do this but you do that) .

Therapy can be a great help in these circumstances but unfortunately, by the time people see the need for therapy, there is usually a great deal of resentment built up that can't be removed with a simple opening of communication.

If you both have things to say but do not know how to say them, therapy could be a good idea but remember that it is just as likely to bring things to an end sooner as it is to give you the keys to resolving the issues and moving past them. Best of luck.

 

[formandvoid]

This absolutely is not an empty statement. Relationship problems come in many forms. For many people one of the hardest things to do is to talk about their feelings or to listen to another's feelings about themself without getting hyper defensive/annoyed (Maybe I did do this but it was because you did that; OR, I know I do this but you do that) .

Therapy can be a great help in these circumstances but unfortunately, by the time people see the need for therapy, there is usually a great deal of resentment built up that can't be removed with a simple opening of communication.

If you both have things to say but do not know how to say them, therapy could be a good idea but remember that it is just as likely to bring things to an end sooner as it is to give you the keys to resolving the issues and moving past them. Best of luck.

Very well put and exactly my thoughts.

 

[lotteryherd]

Thanks for all the insightful words, guys

 

[wooshman]

My question would be how long will a solution last for.

At the beginning everything was nice and then after time whatever happened has happened. Even with a solution, in my eyes, things would go back to how they were as everyone is programmed in one way or another. To try and change that programming isn't fair on one or the other party. You are what you are.

I suppose it does depend on why the issues are there though. Sleeping with your wife's sister is normally a no no and doesn't end well with help or not.