I've been going out with a girl,
her name is Julie
But last night she said to me,
when we were watching telly
She said listen John, I love you
But there's this bloke, I fancy
I don't want to two time you,
so it's the end for you and me
Who's this bloke I asked her
Goooooordon, she replied
Not that puff, I said dismayed
Yes but he's no puff she cried
I was so upset that I cried,
all the way to the chip shop
When I came out there was Gordon,
standing at the bus stop
And guess who was with him? Yeah, Julie, and they were both laughing at me
Oh, she is cruel and heartless
to pack me for Gordon
Just cos he's better looking than me
Just cos he's cool and trendy
But I know he's a moron, Gordon is a moron
Gordon is a moron, Gordon is a moron
Oh she's a slag and he's a creep
She's a tart, he's very cheap
She is a slut, he thinks he's tough
She is a bitch, he is a puff
Yeah yeah, it's not fair
Yeah yeah, it's not fair