@grahamer67
Really appreciate your comments and advice mate. Really do.
You will find it hard to believe but your one of the few people I have had a positive response from as I never seem to get such a response in the "real world"
Hence why I love this place, pathetic as it sounds it just gives me a place to let go so to speak and just to talk to others to get myself away from issues even for a moment. You and others mate are amazing people. Wish more good and understanding people out in the world.
No wife or kids as I dont want to ruin their life mate with my misery hence why I dont have a relationship. My own family are my world and would do everything I can for them. But numerous times I wanted it to end I always thought of them and how they will be affected. I still have these moments but I never go all the way through with it obviously as wouldnt be here if I did.
I dont feel like I am getting better but worse tbh. But I have to put a brave face in front of my family as I never let them see what I go through as I know it would destroy them.
It is what it is mate. Just have accepted it all.
Anyway apologies for sounding so depressing guys (no pun intended). Dont mean to sound so negative. Never have shared my issues like I have so I am surprised about opening up so much and just letting it out.
God bless you all.