Post-traumatic stress disorder

[grahamer67]

@grahamer67

Really appreciate your comments and advice mate. Really do.

You will find it hard to believe but your one of the few people I have had a positive response from as I never seem to get such a response in the "real world"

Hence why I love this place, pathetic as it sounds it just gives me a place to let go so to speak and just to talk to others to get myself away from issues even for a moment. You and others mate are amazing people. Wish more good and understanding people out in the world.

No wife or kids as I dont want to ruin their life mate with my misery hence why I dont have a relationship. My own family are my world and would do everything I can for them. But numerous times I wanted it to end I always thought of them and how they will be affected. I still have these moments but I never go all the way through with it obviously as wouldnt be here if I did.

I dont feel like I am getting better but worse tbh. But I have to put a brave face in front of my family as I never let them see what I go through as I know it would destroy them.

It is what it is mate. Just have accepted it all.

Anyway apologies for sounding so depressing guys (no pun intended). Dont mean to sound so negative. Never have shared my issues like I have so I am surprised about opening up so much and just letting it out.

God bless you all.

Now that you have opened up a bit on here, why not try and take that extra wee step and speak to someone like I mentioned above, even show a family member or a friend some of your posts from this thread, god willing you may get some help.

 

[wheelo]

But I have to put a brave face in front of my family as I never let them see what I go through as I know it would destroy them.

Oh no you don't, the last thing you should be doing is putting on an act - If you feel like shit - say you feel like shit. Your family love you more than you can ever accept, and would bend over backwards to help you, but guess what, they need to know there is a problem, every time there is a problem.
I have lost two really good friends to suicide caused by depression, and If I had one wish for the world, it would probably be along the lines of not letting any other family go through that trauma ever again.

I used a counselling service after the death of my sister at the age of 50 to cancer. It turns out, I had huge amounts of unresolved issues due to my best man dying by suicide, to talk to her was a relief as it was an unknown person who wasn't looking at me in pity (like my wife), nor was she actually going through this, and could see it as an outsider looking in, as opposed to my family who were also grieving themselves, and could not help me.

 

[makido]

In July last year I suffered with mental health issues. Never in my life had I ever experienced anything like this before
I thought I was pretty clued up, had it all so to speak, with family and friends behind me, I was happy and loving life so I thought
Then within 3 or 4 days my life was turned upside down, and my head just popped. (I wont go into it)
Luckily the mental health team were on me and I got sorted and on medication pretty quick. I have had CBT counselling which helped and I am now on the mend.
Hopefully come January I will be off the medication.
Mental health issues can happen to anyone at anytime, just like it did me. The mind is a powerful place and shit scary too

I agree with @wheelo @channelking please talk to your family they will get it, and be behind you all the way

 

[channelking]

Oh no you don't, the last thing you should be doing is putting on an act - If you feel like shit - say you feel like shit. Your family love you more than you can ever accept, and would bend over backwards to help you, but guess what, they need to know there is a problem, every time there is a problem.
I have lost two really good friends to suicide caused by depression, and If I had one wish for the world, it would probably be along the lines of not letting any other family go through that trauma ever again.

Completely get what your saying mate.

As a muslim and in our culture you are not meant to talk about such things as its frowned upon. Also you are meant to have your faith in god that everything will be fine. Which I do but its just something that can't just stop or go away.

I have tried to speak to what I thought were "friends" and they shunned up as they openly told me I was weak.

I am more scared to talk to my family mate and tell them about all the issues I suffer from every day but I dont want them to look differently at them.

I know they have known for some time something isnt quite right with me. As alot of the time I dont talk and am moody and angry when I dont mean to be.

Have tried to speak to numerous therapists and other professionals but if I am being honest they have never helped me in a way that could have been of benefit. Just feel numerous times then pitying me and just going through the same speak without actually listening to me and understanding what I was saying.

You are right mate I am not disputing that. Family may understand and may get me. But for years I have been terrified of what they would think of me and disappoint them.

 

[wheelo]

for years I have been terrified of what they would think of me

This is an internal feeling, not what anyone else thinks "I" says it all.
The Koran, like all the major teachings, is about first and foremost - LOVE, loving one another in general, and our family in specific (not forgetting the ultimate love for your prophet). people can misconstrue any major religions teachings for their own purposes
Your particular group of peers may look on mental health issues as a weakness (I dont believe they do if you were to check carefully), and if so, you should not be locking yourself away from them so as you won't "embarrass yourself", you should go about getting the correct help, be it counselling, be it pharmaceutical help, or whatever works for you..

What age bracket do you fall into, if you don't mind me asking?

 

[channelking]

@wheelo

Have to give respect to you mate, you know alot about Islam than some muslims themselves.

Unfortunately the religion is severely misunderstood today. It is not what is being stated.

Dont have many friends at all simply because of my issues. One friend who I was very good friends with for over 15 years last year just cut ties with me every time I shared my issues. So that for me was enough to not talk about any of it. If it alienates people then what is the point of talking.

I have tried various forms of help available over the years but the results have not been positive at all.

I am in my early 30s mate.

 

[teddybloat]

alienating from them might not be a bad thing.

man sometimes you have to escape toxic friendship groups.

i walked away from 4-5 mates because the lifestyle we were in was killing me. was the hardest thing i've ever done, but the most necessary. my 30th birthday and i was done with a group i had grown up with. if you are in a group or environment that is so macho or toxic that friends will shun you for showing weakness then you have to walk away from them i'm afraid. putting your soul out to people who are going to reject it as they think it will reflect badly on them is going to exacerbate issues.

i don't think religion helps at all when it promotes such a shitty view on mental health issues amongst communities, it's a problem all religions suffer from imo.

really hope you get the help you need my friend.

 

[zack]

I think this is a really good post to be honest..I am 57 out of a job not so easy to get a job, i can't for the hell of me stop shaking, i was at an interview for a job last week, i made a complete ass of the interview, i knew i had a great chance getting it, cause he said it in the call i have same name as him, and i had to do a wee test, he asked me if i was taking medication, i knew he thought i was a drug addict just cause kept going on about it, i am not taking any drugs, just what doc gave me.
I keep thinking i will end up with no home, i have bit money and house near paid, but my head is so scrambled that i can't stop thinking i will have no money left..i know i am daft thinking this, but how do you stop it and get a life again..
People out there have lot worse problems than me, i just want my life back, and i don't know how to do it..
I was thinking will i post it or delete it.

 

[moshibeth]

Completely get what your saying mate.

As a muslim and in our culture you are not meant to talk about such things as its frowned upon. Also you are meant to have your faith in god that everything will be fine. Which I do but its just something that can't just stop or go away.

I have tried to speak to what I thought were "friends" and they shunned up as they openly told me I was weak.

I am more scared to talk to my family mate and tell them about all the issues I suffer from every day but I dont want them to look differently at them.

I know they have known for some time something isnt quite right with me. As alot of the time I dont talk and am moody and angry when I dont mean to be.

Have tried to speak to numerous therapists and other professionals but if I am being honest they have never helped me in a way that could have been of benefit. Just feel numerous times then pitying me and just going through the same speak without actually listening to me and understanding what I was saying.

You are right mate I am not disputing that. Family may understand and may get me. But for years I have been terrified of what they would think of me and disappoint them.

I do get where you come from within your culture as there is a corner shop not 50 yards from my house and i consider where i live a decent area.The shop has had several indian owners and i have always gone out of my way to be friendly so having got to know most of them very well It has given me an understanding of how close the community is and operates.

 

[channelking]

I agree with previous poster that getting a job is so so tough.

I have not had any job for quite a few years now.

Mental and physical health issues have been the major obstacle. I do odd jobs for relatives and do some voluntary work but haven't had part/full time job for so long.

Ones I applied for recently as really wanted to get back in workplace rejected me as had hardly any qualifications and barely any work experience seeing how long been out of work for.

Last job I had interview for was few years ago and and royally screwed that up. Was having all negativity thoughts which prevented me for answering the questions.

Having no job of course makes it so tough financially but also you lose sense of purpose. Meaning of doing something.

In this tough climate it seems the strong minded will always get through compared to those who are struggling mentally.

 

[dave100]

I have had quite a number of health problems in my life but to speak to someone about them really gives you hope that your not alone

So do not hold it all in as it's great to share and it also gives you hope that one day you will feel Great Again

 

[zack]

I agree , once you hit the slippery slope, i find it is so hard to get off it..Your confidence is hit big time.. i am not completely alone, but a lot times i feel i am..I think it is a really tough time in the world just now for a hell lot people..

 

[dave100]

I have been to some very dark places over the last few years and i would not like you guys to go there, so please ask for help from a member of your family when you need that as it really makes a difference

 

[StrawDog]

I think this is a really good post to be honest..I am 57 out of a job not so easy to get a job, i can't for the hell of me stop shaking, i was at an interview for a job last week, i made a complete ass of the interview, i knew i had a great chance getting it, cause he said it in the call i have same name as him, and i had to do a wee test, he asked me if i was taking medication, i knew he thought i was a drug addict just cause kept going on about it, i am not taking any drugs, just what doc gave me.
I keep thinking i will end up with no home, i have bit money and house near paid, but my head is so scrambled that i can't stop thinking i will have no money left..i know i am daft thinking this, but how do you stop it and get a life again..
People out there have lot worse problems than me, i just want my life back, and i don't know how to do it..
I was thinking will i post it or delete it.

Well I'm glad you have, just to write it actually down is supposed to be good for the mind. in-fact I can say that it's worked so far in this thread for me, just being able to let so much out. as for that money demon, when your working your thinking about money when your not working your thinking about money. it'll happen for you mate hopefully sooner, then that's one thing to lessen the burden.

tell you what's kept me sane, electronics, I'm currently messing on producing a track after buying my self a midi-keyboard and software, pretty awesome, after you know it, it's ZzzZzzZz time, not just that like, but printers etc (3D) all kept the grey matter occupied else where, for a while any way..haha! :)

best wishes man.

 

[zack]

Strawdog. You are right i did feel better for writing it down and bringing it out..The one thing i am not so sure about telling your family and friends, do people really open up and say it as they are really feeling, i do not think i could do it..I think they would be concerned but what do they say about you when your not there, cause everyone will have their own thoughts, i think i would leave some out, some might even think you might do some harm to yourself if they were really worried.. At least i am not all alone, there is a lot people finding it tough, it gives you hope at least. Your not all alone.

 

[StrawDog]

it's just after reading loads and loads on "The Mind" that I have stumbled across these things, and thought well why not, there was a one with negative emotions where you write it down, crumple up the paper and then throw it away...never tried it like as didn't have enough paper....haha!

unfortunately there is no family here, (well for me alas) this is part of the PTSD that i'm suffering, without going into too much detail. (I lost my dad, my mom, my brother, my girlfriend, and my little baby, a 3 month old boy in circumstances I can't and even won't go into detail about)...

and then, I was just getting on with what i had clawed back from just being able to breathe, after all that's all that I was doing, and then something un-believable happened to me, something off the ******* scale........wrong time, wrong place they say, .......so yeah, it's kinda been a little kinda of mind bender with staying in the "real world" that we all so live in.....

I guess that's why no one wan'ts to go SKY diving with me.

I agree , once you hit the slippery slope, i find it is so hard to get off it..Your confidence is hit big time.. i am not completely alone, but a lot times i feel i am..I think it is a really tough time in the world just now for a hell lot people..

good I'm glad :)

 

[zack]

Strawdog ..You have been through hell and back, and hopefully come out the other side, would i tell you my dark world face to face , prob not, i think same as you, it is something not easy to just open up and say face to face, cause i say everyone has their own thoughts.

I def think it is a good thread, cause i know and you know people are having a tough time out there, maybe even getting things of their chest as they say, people wont laugh at you, you don't really know them and they don't know you, so people might open up a bit more, i would never said anything until i seen that post..

i Def felt better saying it, even sometimes you think who cares, i have my own probs, do i need to hear someone else's.

 

[StrawDog]

thanks, I do laugh when people think I'm weird when I meet them and they go "are you married?" and "you got any kids?" and then when I go no, I........and before I know it (like Joker the film they butt in and accuse me of being some kind of weirdo....IN A LOUD VOICE ! WHAT YOUR NOT MARRIED! AND HAHA! WHAT NO KIDS....AT YOUR AGE!!!

I laugh at society.

never judge.

 

[zack]

I have never been married, not because i never wanted to, just never happened, was close once but i blew that up to, but hey ho, my only trait is i look miles younger than my age, no grey hair and not dyed and 57 full head of hair, all my pal say i know you dye it just to wind me up, say that is not normal, but hey ho off to no work i go..lol

 

[makido]

The thing that hit my family the hardest, was that I was always the strong one the one that held us altogether. Nothing ever bothered me, I was always laughing, nothing was ever serious with me
but It was like someone had flicked a switch and I was gone, and the worst thing for them was the fact they could see me suffering and they couldn't help me.
I wouldn't listen to reason my mind was set, and no amount of talking to them would/could change that.
I needed help, and if the mental health team hadnt got to me when they did, I wouldn't be here now.
It hit me like a bloody bus outta nowhere just like that
My family were living my nightmare every step of the way, and they pulled me through. Pure love got me through I couldn't of done it alone